Cheeky Tomato sex expert

The hated fishy vaginal smell. What to do when you have "tuna odor"

www.sexwithsue.com, www.schoolofsquirting.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, http://www.embarrassingproblems.co.uk/vulva4.htm

 February, cold, wet, and at the height of flu season. With half the population is on antibiotics, and no fresh air blowing up skirts, women often get a little odoriferous. Some, in fact, smell like a fish canning factory. With women paranoid about being strong smelling and not clean enough at the best of times, adding a slight (or not-so-slight) scent to their snatches can be mortifying.

I was astounded at how many women didn't know what to do when this happened, and thought a blog to explain the basics in vaginal health from a sex therapists' perspective was in order.

Both yeast and good bacteria (the happy kind you find in yogurt that helps digestion) are present in the vagina, and they keep each other in check. If you are on oral antibiotics, then the good bacteria are cleaned out, (along with the bad and inbetween bacteria)  and you often get a yeast infection. Red, itchy, thick discharge and you don't want to leave the bathtub. An over the counter anti-fungal is a good treatment. The challenge is that often there is introduced bad bacteria into the vagina and you aren't itchy, but you smell ripe. Daily baths, masturbation to flush out the vaginal cavity and eating yogurt can help prevent it happening, but when you need "fish be gone" treatment here's what you do.

Go to the health food store and look for digestive enzymes and lactobacillius. These are the millions of the good bacteria you can take in a pill. They are usually kept in the refrigerator, and are important to take if you are disrupting the vaginal flora in any way. (ie are smelly girl).  Then you need an antibacterial vaginal cream. My favourite is viaderm-k.c. cream. In some places you can get viaderm over the counter, and in some places you need a prescription. A tube will last me for years, and it is a gentle, soothing goop that works with the bacteria pills to clean up the problem in a day or so. :)

I think all women should understand their vaginas, feel their cervixes, and be aware of their cycles. You have the power to manage your own sexual health, and a healthy vagina is a happy vagina.

Why you should always attempt poetry on Valentine's Day

http://english.sina.com/life/2009/0213/218244.html  www.sexwithsue.com, www.solveprematureejacualtion.net, www.schoolofsquirting.com

So it's Valentine's Day. The day when we take a moment out of our hectic lives to say to our sweetie's "You are special, and even with all the chaos surrounding us, I would pick you again." At least that is what I think Valentine's Day is about. Or as your sex therapist, it is the day in the year when you are suppose to to screw like bunnies.  Yeah!

Despite the commercialization of the holiday, I think women want something simple.
My sweetie, world renowned for his homemade "Hallmarks" gave me a card on 8 1/2 by 11 white paper that read:

    Valentines, a special day. My heart is filled with thoughts that say...(something personal and x rated that can't be published here )  But in return you've won my heart, I love every inch, I love every part. You're my chick, all leather and lace, and even with a prickly face. (a comment on my recent waxing endeavor).

I was so moved. Irreverent, homemade poetry will touch me (and most other women I know).  The article published in the National Post said:

"Jenna Walsh, an account executive in Boston, is looking forward to some special treatment this Valentine's Day, but, she's not interested in flowers, champagne or chocolate.

"If I could have anything this year, it would be nothing more than a heartfelt 'thank you,' since it's one of the many things men have difficulty communicating," she says. "I don't think there's any material gift that could show that kind of appreciation or maturity," she adds.

The grim economy has many couples rethinking their priorities, and plenty of women are seeing the holiday as a chance for their lovers to express their true feelings, not just the contents of their wallet. 

In fact, many women want things a partner could easily provide but might never guess.

Lauren Warthan, in Austin, Texas, fantasizes about breakfast tacos served to her in bed.

Along similar lines, Helen Gregory in Brooklyn, N.Y., wants "a kiss and a cup of coffee when I wake up."

So don't panic if you haven't gone out to the store and got something store bought. Take a page from my Valentine. Depreciating, but loving thoughts are way better than roses.

Sex and Gaming - why computer generated hotties may be a good substitute for the real thing

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http://www.ugo.com/lifestyle/best-video-game-sex-scenes/?cur=mass-effect

I was asked to comment on a Canadian survey that came out in time for Valentine's Day this week. The survey, conducted for Virgin Mobile, shows 56
per cent of young Canadians (ages 18 to 34) prefer holding their mobile phone
over their Valentine's hand and almost 40 per cent say they'd rather live
without their Valentine for a week than their mobile phone.
    "Clearly, people have a deep love affair with their mobile phones,
especially younger Canadians, and this survey shows just that," said Nathan
Rosenberg, Virgin Mobile's Chief Marketing Officer.

argh! I found the thought of being more attached to my phone than to a thinking, breathing (demanding or snoring) partner kind of depressing. I regularly try and kick my cell phone across airports, (and have a graveyard drawer of dead blackberries). But does technology have to be bad as it relates to sex? I've been blogging about my love affair with toys (can't remember when I actually had to use my own hand to bring myself to orgasm (it has to have been a decade), and now I cam kind of intrigued with some of this virtual sex. All the gaming vixens that started with the anatomical Laura Croft, and come of the sexier, and steamer virtual partners. With the audience getting older, we want a more adult feel to our console interaction (can we all say vibrating joystick?). Think of the success of we fit with middle aged women.

It turns out that more sex is coming for women in the gaming community.

"Erotic content for women is the fastest growing segment of the adult market," she says. "It stands to reason it's a growing segment in the gaming market as well."

It also stands to reason that if you want gamers to subscribe to an interactive sex game, you want to appeal to both men and women. In fact, if you can get women to sign on, the men will follow.

Two games scheduled to launch next year are taking this woman-friendly approach, although both companies are shy about describing exactly what the new games will entail.

Having spent some time at the Banff New Media Centre designing new media sex games, Iknow it's hard to walk that line between cheesy and sleazy but I'll know it when I see it. I'm thinking the Rock, Howie Long, Clive Owens, and Ben Affleck naked and at my control. Hmmm it may have possibilities. In the meanwhile, let me turn off my phone and for my damn vibrator.

What boobs are really meant for

www.sexwithsue.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, www.schoolofsquirting.com, http://www.examiner.com/x-608-Early-Childhood-Parenting-Examiner~y2009m2d11-Salma-Hayek-breastfeeding-a-starving-baby-in-Africa--Would-you-do-it

I was reading about this today (it aired on Dateline - not something I ever watch). It was such a nice story that it warmed my heart (between rumours that my favourite 90's Blue Jay player - Robbie Alomar- is HIV positive, and a winning dog name Stumpy :) that I wanted to share it.

Salma Hayek the actress, on tour with UNICEF - The United Nations Children's Fund, was filming a show on the importance of getting tetanus shots.  In a hospital with a woman her starving baby, she offered to feed the baby herself. Meaning she lifted up her shirt, pulled out a breast and gave the child breast milk she is producing for her own one year old daughter.  The thing about breast milk is that (provided the mother is fed and healthy), the more a baby sucks, the more milk you can produce. She would have had enough for both babies. It actually works the same way with female ejaculate. Anyway, she had more than enough to go around, and fed a starving infant from her own body. I thought it was a very real gesture and would have been potentially life saving for that child. Weakened babies - despite needing nourishment - can have trouble digesting formula when they are so fragile. Breast milk is the best thing in the world for sick babies, and that infant would have benefited from the actress's immunity. As the past President of UNIFEM Canada (the UN's women's fund), and a nursing Mother, I appreciate the gesture for what is is. Selfless.

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition - why supermodels in bikin's never goes out of style

http://newsblaze.com/story/2009020909330600001.pnw/topstory.html  www.sexwithsue.com, www.schoolofsquirting.com, www.prematureejaculation.net , sportsillustrated.cnn.com/swimsuit/collection

          So they are making some changes over at Sport Illustrated's annual swimsuit edition. Instead of waiting annually to see the new bathing suits out for summer (and you know the fashion changes are the only reason you look at it, well, maybe you read the latest football news too), they are having a 24/7 swimsuit thing going on. You can never have too much of a good thing. And supermodels on beaches wearing string bikini's is a classic good thing according to SI. Think of that Bud commercial where you get to go on the plane with beautiful bud girls and the advertisers all line up to be associated with it, and you have an idea of the new SI swimsuit marketing and branding campaign. Move over Hef, the mansion is out of vogue.

LVCVA proudly presents Club SI Swimsuit Las Vegas, an anchor event in a
        week of launch activities surrounding the launch of the 2009 Sports
        Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  On Thursday, February 12, 2009, more than a
        dozen SI Swimsuit models featured in the acclaimed annual will descend
        upon Las Vegas for a day of autograph signings and photo opportunities
        at select resorts, all culminating with the first ever launch party in
        Las Vegas. 

Other marketing ideas include a radio spot (supermodels talk?), a downloadable calendar, and night club appearances. What floored me about this story was the numbers. You know looking at the issue is popular but I had no idea just how popular. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit franchise reaches more than 66 million adults (approximately one in three Americans over the age of 18).  66 million!  That's marketing.

Finally, there is news on the 2009 cover model for this year's calendar. Apparently is is Bar Refaeli the 23-year-old Israeli, who has been romantically linked to Leonardo DiCaprio, as a first-time cover girl.  The shot shows her pulling down her string bikini over her hips. Apparently they were going for a combo of wholesome and sleaze. Here is the shot here is you want to pick up the entire edition on newsstands now.

Super Adventure Sex Clubs - How to have action and sex with 100 of your closest friends

http://lubbockonline.com/stories/020909/loc_386352825.shtml, www.sexwithsue.com www.schoolofsquirting.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net

I'm a big believer that everyone (especially women), have a need to congregate and be around like minded people. Community, and that feeling of belonging to a pack runs deep. That's what church is, frat houses, or chick groups like my spin mama's  where we drink martini's and bitch about our kids and husbands. Apparently all the rage in a news article this morning is about the Super Adventure Clubs. These are groups of people who come together in a gaggle to do interesting things. Imagine a troop of like-minded people wanting to jump out of planes, go skiing on mountain tops, and scuba interesting places as part of this new trend. This sounds far more interesting than the local chapter of the Chamber of Commerce, or Water Buffalo men's groups.

I think the trend is here to stay. I for one, spend my time daydreaming about naked adventures (the goal of jumping up and down - see the previous blog about my sagging bustline) on nude beaches worldwide. Apparently I am not alone, and the need to frolic naked with friends you meet for the first time is running rampant. In Ontario there are adultsonlytravel, and groups of people that join up to go to Hedonism, Desire and other sex travel spots on dennyp'ssite. Let the fun times begin as groups of middle aged people do wild and silly things. At Hedo there are groups called the bubblybares which gives this philosophy:

The Bubbly Bares is a nudist vacation club with members from all over the world. We meet several times a year at different locations to get "nekkid", drink champagne and party hearty! We call Hedonism II our home but visit other resorts and beaches where nudism is welcomed.  We are NOT a swing club but a group of free spirited individuals from all walks of life. We are very inclusive  so you do not have to be a member of our group to join in our fun and sometimes crazy antics. 

 

Somewhere between crazy bush and Brazilian. Or why do I have pieces of green wax stuck to my pubes?

www.sexwithsue.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, www.schoolofsquirting.com, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chloe_Does_Yale, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pubic_hair

Body hair can be a rather sticky subject. Or so I found out when I bought this "do-it-at-home" wax kit from Walmart. I'm a razor girl as a rule. I shave my legs daily, keep the pitts clear of fuzz, and try to keep the bush from migrating down towards my knees. I use a top of the line razor, use baby powder to reach really low without cutting myself, and soap on the rest of me. It's part of my morning bathing ritual and I thought an acceptable solution to the age old hair removal problem. Until a random comment about "pickyness" had me re-thinking the whole thing. I had tried the creams before and they gave me those little red bumps, and my experience waxing previously had been something akin to the 40 year old virgin scene. Given that I really am a natural blonde, the hair is finer and less visable than my brunette girlfriends. They spend an outrageous amount of money getting lasored and waxed monthly (some have trouble walking for a week afterwards), but are left coiffed and smooth as possible. Blondes can't be lasored as the lasor can't "see' the hair in order to zap it. I have heard that poor estheticians have to deal with "spiders" or the creepy pubes of unkept patrons, that make the inside of the thighs look like party favours, and I didn't want to deal with the kind of regularity that was necessary to have me not lumped into that category. For me it now seems that razor stubble has me crossing into that new domain into hair removal solutions. Do I shave more often? pluck? Go back to the expensive and time consuming estitcians, or try and assume that hair removal is one of the biggest hassles in being a women and ask for a little understanding?

Previously my rule of thumb had been akin to my friend Chloe in the book Chloe Does Yale, by Natalie Krinsky.

"The general consensus among both male and  females was that body hair is not about style or panache, but rather hygiene, and thus the rule of thumb is keep it organized. Pubic hair is like a Filofax. It's no good when little pieces of paper are sticking out of your Filofax; it makes it difficult to fit into your purse. Same goes for pubic hair. Capiche?"

Which brings you to my current situation. Trying to use a tongue depressor to apply a rapidly hardening green wax to my less than firm inner thighs in anticipation of ripping pain. I managed to make a mess of the whole thing, and after a few serious yelps, and tears of physical anguish running down my face, I ma forced to spend 15 minutes trying to scrape the leftover wax from migrating up my cervix. I obviously need to leave this process to the professionals. Or contemplate going back to my trusty razor.  I'll keep you posted.

It's always a good day when you get a new sex toy

www.sexwithsue.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, www.schoolofsquirting.com, we-vibe.com

I was speaking at Sexapalooza a few weeks ago and as I got off the podium, I was handed a gift. It was my very own we vibe, invented and designed in Canada and is now THE toy that heterosexual couples need in their bedside table. Thanks Bruce! I know what you're thinking. Another disappointing toy. Nope, this one is different. It's revolutionary in a couple of ways. It has no batteries (yeah! as I'm always losing those blasted things anyway), it comes in it's own case (a fetching purple), and has no protruding parts (the on/off switch is buried inside the silicone so not to rub on your neither regions), and has it's own charging feature, and holds it's charge for a good long time.

It has two speeds - low/high and has some decent torque. The bottom slides inside the vagina, while the top part stimulates clitorally, and stays in place well. A good shape, and it had an elegant feel as to not to feel the least bit uncomfortable anywhere. On the whole, I liked it moderately well as a solo toy. Given I still prefer my clitoral toys to plug into the wall and give me uncontested power, so even with the dual vibration I found the we vibe wasn't as strong as I like it.

However the beauty of the we vibe is as a couples toy. Put it inside and then have your partner penetrate you simultaneously. It may look awkward (like there isn't enough space), but trust me, it just makes the whole experience snugger. The vibration hits both partners together and it was a terrific sensation. We loved it. The we vibe has recently won some prestigious sex toy awards, and with good reason. An incredible innovation and  design in a traditional marketplace. The nice thing is that it was done - not by the big boys at Doc Johnson or Cal Exotica, but by a small company that re-mortgaged their house to bring it to market. If you are in the market for a sex toy for your sweetie this Valentine's Day - this is the best one I've come across in a long while. Enjoy.