Cheeky Tomato sex expert

The G-spot 'doesn't appear to exist', say researchers - give me 10 minutes and I'll prove you wrong!

Argh!  Another study that tries to prove that the G spot doesn't exist!

www.sexwithsue.com , http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8439000.stm

The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it.

Their study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine is the biggest yet, involving 1,800 women, and it found no proof.

The King's College London team believe the G-spot may be a figment of women's imagination, encouraged by magazines and sex therapists.

But sexologist Beverley Whipple, who helped popularise the G-spot idea, said the work was "flawed".  You tell 'em Beverley.

"This is by far the biggest study ever carried out and shows fairly conclusively that the idea of a G-spot is subjective."

The Gräfenberg Spot, or G-Spot, was named in honour of the German gynaecologist Ernst Gräfenberg who described it over 50 years ago. It is said to sit in the front wall of the vagina some 2-5cm up.

Recently Italian scientists claimed they could locate the G-spot using ultrasound scans.

They said they had found an area of thicker tissue among the women reporting orgasms.

I get so frustrated with these studies. How can I, and many of the women I know, have taught, or have witnessed personally be so dismissed?  Out comes clear, clover-smelling liquid, and offers a huge release. I know it, as do millions of other women. Sigh. Women I've spoken to know that they can release loads of fluid, and have a "different" kind of orgasm. I can't believe since so many women experience it, that they are still poking and prodding. Go to the site www.sexwithsue.com, and get my FREE 10 steps for reaching a G spot orgasm. I am so confident of it, that if you don't get it, I'll send you a copy of the whole book- Quivering Jello if you quote this blog. Unless you've had pelvic surgery, I'm confident you'll get there. Don't give up or believe alot of uptight british researchers who don't know where to look.

Lindor chocolate, my downfall...

Happy New Year1 TOP 8 NEW SEXUAL THINGS TO TRY THIS YEAR

One of my New Year's resolutions (besides eating less chocolate, blowing off the dust on our Wii fit, and to stop leaving my boots at the top of the stairs) is to blog more regularly. This way, just like on The corner Gas episode, everyone involved can tune me up if I lapse.

So in keeping with this theme of Newness, here are the top 8 new sex things (you may or may not have tried this year.

8. Hardware Store or vintage vibrators- They are the best. In Canada we get Canadian Tire money for ones that plug into the wall, and deliver 110 volts of lov'n. Ebay can give you a ready supply of The Phillips beauty set, a vintage vibrator that ranks as my personal fav.

7. Take a Trip to Hedonism. Large re-curring groups of people flock to Jamaica different weeks of the year, and get Fabulous group rates. Try The Bubbly Bares, or Fluffernutters. We`'ve seen rates out of Canada (with air included) for less than $1000.

6. Dollar store enema douche. I kid you not. They are marketed in the Qtip and pharmacy section of the dollar stores as douches, but are Great water disposable enema`s for couples wanting to be scrupulously clean for light touch in and around that erogenous zone.

5. Magnesium-glycinate - Known as 'mega-mag' it is an amazing mineral that your body doesn`t get nearly enough of, and will seriously increase your sex drive.

4. We vibe - The number 1 sex toy in the world, is great with couples, and offers female orgasms for women who want to climax during intercourse.

3. Ipod application of 365 positions - New email and downloaded app that will show you different positions to try each day of the year. Many are variations on the same theme (or require a level of gymnastic ability that escapes me), but they are fun to look at and can often kick-start the conversation.

2. Mango love oil andthe corkscrew hand job- made famous by porn star Asia Carrara, warmed oil is the secret of many a infamous mistress. For the enthusiastic novice warm some oil (women love scented ones) and simulate either opening a screw top on the clitoris, or simulating opening a wine bottle for penile play.

1. A fist in the bush - For couples whom have mastered the art of squirting or are looking for a new technique to master, the art of fisting may be less scary and more interesting than at first glance. You can`t get over stretched (your muscles will bring you back to the right size), and it can offer a completely new sensation for couples who are gentle and communicative. I`ll provide instructions based on the new sex technique book out. 

Happy New Year everyone, and let`s hope we all keep our resolutions.

Jade Mountain- St. Lucia, a review

Love and Architecture at Jade Mountain

Jade Mountain is a love story.

It’s the blending of the love of St. Lucia’s famed Piton volcanic mountains and one of the most breathtaking views in the Caribbean. It’s the love story of how Nick Troubetzkoy, a Canadian trained architect created his vision for a five star resort and destination spa on the west coast of St. Lucia at Soufriere. It’s also a love story for most of the couples and honeymooners who visit. Jade Mountain is a one-of –a-kind resort. Partnered with its sister resort Anse Chastanet, we discovered that it’s about beauty, nature, modern art, and a blending of architecture into jaw dropping scenery. All this with truly exceptional gourmet food and service, Jade Mountain propels relaxation to the highest level in an adult only resort.

The quality of the food at Jade Mountain can

’t be over emphasized. The resort boasts an American Academy of Hospitality Sciences five star rating for food and service. Much of the organic produce is grown on the owner’s surrounding 600 acre plantation including mangoes, spices, and chocolate used in their so named Caribbean culinary festivals. We had homemade rum and raisin ice cream that instantly became a lifetime favorite. By day two the staff had an understanding of our food and beverage preferences, and was suggesting a favorite tea. With English Butler Academy trained butlers (they call them major-domos) at your service to fulfill any need, the attention to detail was superb. The Guild of English Butlers means that these professional hoteliers can unpack for you, arrange for your favorite foods at preferred tables, acquire hard to find items, and aid in travel arrangements. They are available 24/7 with the push of a button on your firefly, a small little cell phone that you are given for the duration of your stay and which contacts the front desk or your butler instantly.

The rooms are called sanctuaries for a reason. They are huge, offering a fantastic view of the two famed Pitons (or mountains). The Pitons are the two volcanoes that UNESCO has deemed a world heritage site, and are bordered with a lush canopy of rainforest. St. Lucia is awash in color, even during the dormant season when we were there. The turquoise of the Sea, the silver of the volcanic sand, a rainbow of flowers, and the most beautiful multi-colored hummingbirds along with the spectacular St. Lucian parrot can best be described as a feast for the eyes.

Most of St. Lucia is mountainous and covered in rainforest. The whole island is only 29 miles long, but you can expect driving the length of it to take over two hours. The roads are switch back and a bit of a roller coaster ride- especially along the east side of the island. Bring your Gravol or other travel-sickness medication if you are driving around the island much. We read one report that suggested that “St. Lucia allows you to get in touch with your calf muscles” which we found to be oh, so true. Almost everything in St. Lucia is uphill or downhill (and it seemed more uphill to us), and everyone is expected to climb flights of stairs. Meals at Jade Mountain meant that we had to climb 10 flights of stairs to get to the dining area, with no elevator option. Fortunately, the food would motivate anyone to climb. If you are mobility challenged, you can request an upper room, but it is a resort on a hill and the lay-out of the resort requires a level of fitness to in order move around easily.

　

The rooms (or sanctuaries as they are called) are self contained units that come with everything you need to relax (no television, phone or radio). The sanctuary does have its own tranquil infinity pool in the three sided rooms which means you have the best of living both inside and outside for your entire stay. (authors note: The sanctuaries are rectangular with no outside wall. That means open air in all the rooms, dining and common areas. It is a very different concept, and one of the few places in the world that has limited bugs, very few mountainous creepy or slithering things, warm weather, offers reasonable shelter from hurricanes and tropical storms and is relatively crime-free and difficult to access along the mountain-side. Think tropical camping with decadent comfort and push of a button service. The sanctuaries really do have to be seen to be believed.)

The full 29 rooms were occupied during our visit, but the place seemed empty, with everyone living in their villa-like sanctuaries or taking in one of the adventure excursions. With a majority of people able to do anything from sunbath, partake in gourmet room service, swim, and relax completely undisturbed for the entire time while never leaving their rooms, the sanctuaries offer absolute privacy for couples wanting to get away from it all. Jade Mountain really is romance personified. The small touches are well thought out. There was local poetry on the pillow (St. Lucia boasts the highest percentage of Nobel Lauriat

’s per capita on the planet) and live guitar music at dinner. The owner’s cocktail party and the sunset cruises added to the ambiance.

As therapists, we

’ve long believed that adventure leads to connection within a relationship. Anything that gets your adrenaline pumping together will bond you as a couple. One of the driving reasons to visit Jade Mountain is the duality it offers. At Jade Mountain there is the aforementioned complete tranquility of the sanctuaries, as well as the opportunity to take in couple adventures off the resort. We went zip lining, and during that tour had a quick lesson in the growing of bananas, bay leaves and cinnamon. We checked out the historic town of Soufriere. Other adventure couples took in the whale watching, rum tours, volcano hiking, and ocean kayaking. The honeymooners we spoke to were just happy to be together and uninterrupted. Many were on the joint honeymoon package with a half-and-half stay at Jade Mountain and Anse Chastanet (where there was more beach living and marine life). Jade Mountain offers a shuttle service that can take you up and down to the beach that is situated on the edge of a protected marine area. A number of beach bars and restaurants are included on your Jade Mountain meal plan at the beach level Anse Chastanet resort so you only have to make the strenuous hike (or not-so- strenuous short car ride up the hill) once per day.

Jade Mountain is well on its way to becoming a complete destination-spa resort as well. Between a full menu of organic, low fat foods and a holistic health professional spa director with a well-trained staff (including a former US Navy fitness instructor), you can heal the body as well as the mind. And as mentioned, you have easy access to the famed volcanic hot springs and mineral baths which have been espoused to cure everything from arthritis to intestinal disorders. With all this emphasis on health (and all of the stairs to climb), you can avoid the five pounds of holiday bulge from too many umbrella drinks. You actually may return leaner than when you left without feeling like you

’ve missed out on amazing food. It will be worth watching Jade Mountain’s evolution into a new level of spa and health centre.

Jade Mountain, while spectacular, is priced outside of normal vacation budgets, and lends itself well to short “get-aways” or long weekends. We travelled lightly and were able to get on and off the island over three days. We met a Miami physician and a New York lawyer who loved how they could arrive easily and leave without once hearing a telephone. It is perfect for intimate honeymooners, or couples wanting to recharge together. Many of the guests fly in via helicopter from the Hewanorra International Airport in the south of the island (which is a seven-minute flight), and land on Jade Mountain

’s own private heli-pad.

With all of these amenities, Jade Mountain firmly falls into the highest end romance resort destination as the place to try this year.

　

back from the warmth of St. Lucia, and thinking about emigrating...

A word about orgies, threesomes and grinding away like a mass of writhing bodies


www.sexwithsue.com

“One or two animals is OK, but three or more is just pretending to be Scottish.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Orgy

“When an orgy comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another orgy, and the wise already have an orgy in reserve.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Orgies

So Oscar Wilde seemed to be an afficiado of the above Roman orgies. You know the ones where everyone dives into the pile and looks like the Bears and Browns all piled on top of each other, only usually worse looking, with no clothes on, and involving a bunch more women.  Someone asked me recently if people were still having orgies. I don't know if it is just a curiousity about finding one, or if orgies are still on the "What's in this year list" that pops up around new Year's. Orgies are defined as "a wild gathering involving excessive drinking and promiscuity" (and since I've all but given up drinking - as it goes straight to my hips- that leaves us non-drinkers out. Or how about " orgy - A large, and often lavish, gathering of people for the purpose of having group sex." Maybe it's in the definition. The current terms seem to favor "gang bang" (In heterosexual parlance gangbang usually refers to one woman and multiple men),but I'm getting more of the questions when as it relates to "girl only" groups. 

I've been reading Zandra Bell who is a comedian who discusses multiple anything sounding exciting.

Like her I believe that menageries a trois are best enjoyed in your mind. In the fantasy world everything flows smoothly, and climaxes simultaneously. This is not real life. The problems occur when you try to translate your erotic images into reality. There are only so many appendages to go with a certain number of orify (that's the plural), that unless you are a double jointed acrobatic troupe, someone's dangly bits are going to be left out in the cold.

When we are doing seminars on "what's new in sex" Blaik and I are often asked about multiple partners. Hey, we've been to Hedonism where a "group grope" has been known to break out (if you know where to look). They seem to break out regularly among bi-sexual women, but the true orgy (or key party where you went home with the partner who owned the keys you took out of the basket randomly) seems to happen with people who are extremely comfortable with each other. There are the issues with safety, clean sheets, and who gets to lie in the wet spots. More on this musing as I research for the next book.

Thinking about Chemistry. Is it really just a matter of finding someone whose phyical imperfections and personality deficiencies match your own?

International Libido week! Time to get some snogging in.

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/health/Bake+cake+Libido/2167339/story.html

www.sexwithsue.com

Bake a big cake -- Nov. 18 to 25th is Libido Week

Ottawa event a fun, informative way to talk about sluggish sex drives, expert says

 

By Dayanti Karunaratne, The Ottawa CitizenOctober 31, 2009

 

 

• Story
• Photos ( 1 )

 

Sex therapist Sue McGarvie's book links weight loss and sex.

Photograph by: Chris Mikula, The Ottawa Citizen, The Ottawa Citizen

"Sex is like chocolate cake," says sex therapist Sue McGarvie. "When you don't see it, you don't want it. You're not going to get in your car to go get it. But when you see it you want it, and you want it bad."

McGarvie is on a mission to help people see that proverbial chocolate cake, and on Nov. 18, she's teaming up with pharmacist and health advocate Kent McLeod of NutriChem Pharmacy for Libido Day, an event that aims to bring the topic of sluggish sex drives out of the bedroom and into the classroom.

McLeod will kick off things with a presentation about the science behind sexual desire, and, after a comedic interlude by local funny girl Carrie Gaetz, McGarvie will take the stage with anecdotes from her 17 years as a registered sex therapist -- as well as wisdom gleaned from her own (very personal) experiences.

Billed as a fun, informative session for people of all ages, the event will also serve as the launch of McGarvie's new book, Lean and Lusty: The Libido Diet, in which she details, with trademark humour and irreverence, her experiments with dieting, hormone testing, weight loss, and, of course, sex.

Part self-help, part diet guide, part sex manual, McGarvie writes in the introduction that the book "was designed to give you an understanding of your body, your sexuality and help you lose weight in the process."

Think weight and libido have nothing in common? Tell that to McGarvie, who spent more than a year testing out the connection on herself.

She lost 140 pounds, and, as she writes in her new book, "I lost the weight, got much, much hornier, and rediscovered my missing health ... sometimes becoming so much more turned on was damn distracting, and I want to thank God I was born in the technological age, after the invention of sex toys. It wasn't quite a Sex in the City rabbit intervention, but let's just say I used up my share of batteries since I've increased my libido."

But while sex can be a great motivator for weight loss, it isn't just about instant gratification, says the therapist and former radio host of Sunday Night Sex with Sue.

"It's about saving marriages," says McGarvie, calling low libido the "silent epidemic" because so many women suffer from a low sex drive, and often no one talks about the situation.

"Abstinence is not an option," says McGarvie. "It's all men think about as it is, let alone when they're not getting any."

McLeod agrees that the effect of low libidos -- on marriages, and society at large -- is devastating. "I see women for a variety of health issues, and low libido is one of the top four complaints," says McLeod, "and yet it's not something that's well understood or addressed."

McLeod illustrates the widespread acceptance of low sex drives with the story of a man he recently met who complained of a drop in his sex drive. This man had rightly determined his prescription medication to be the cause of the problem, but said it wasn't really affecting his married life because his wife was on the same drug -- and was similarly affected.

So if no one is complaining, is there a problem? What's wrong with a life without sex?

"Sex is a function of vitality," says McLeod. "Low libido is associated with not sleeping, not having any energy, feeling depressed. Is that really how you want to live your life?"

CELEBRATE LIBIDO DAY

The launch of the new book The Libido Diet! It arrived hot off the press last week, and will be hitting the shelves over the next few days!

Why Halloween is my favourite sexy holiday

www.sexwithsue.com,

http://www.legavenue.com/

I'm busy trying to get the Halloween costumes ready for a plenary of festivities next week. I was debating going as Wonder Woman, medusa, or Elvis in his sparkling, white, polyester jumpsuit. It's the fun and romance of being something different. For my cross-dressing clients, it is the one day a year where they can be legitimately "out" in drag. I was trying to figure out why it had become so popular. Fantasies and dressing up in sexy costumes to "be someone new" has always been popular.

Business week had this to say about why Halloween has caught on in Europe where nobody had heard of the holiday five years ago.

WILD ABOUT HARRY (potter, that is).  What's driving the Halloween craze? Partly it's an organized effort by major U.S. brands to export the holiday to Europe. The Disneyland Paris theme park has been promoting Halloween heavily since 2001. During October, the park is renamed "Halloweenland," with daily theme parades and a squad of pumpkin-head characters wandering through the grounds with buckets and brushes, splashing things with orange paint. The park has even come up with a mascot, "Ed the Pumpkin," and has installed displays showing his "ancestors," beginning with pumpkin-headed cavemen.

The Boston Herald discussed what I had been seeing in sex stores for years. The biggest sellers are the border patrol costumes, and the sexier the costume, the better for your office err, your neighborhood Halloween party. 

BuyCostumes.com promises an “evening that will make your heart soar” with the “Mile High Captain,” a tight pilot’s dress with matching hat and a “Mile High Club” badge. A similarly themed costume is the no-further-explanation-necessary “Captain Layover.” On the seas, there’s the “Captivating Captain,” a “naval hottie who can command any body . . . of water.”

Clever stuff.

Perhaps the two most fetishized career fields are health care and law enforcement. Halloween merely amplifies the kind of racy comments directed at virtually any nurse under the age of 70. But it underscores public perceptions of doctors, too. Thus, the widespread availability of surplus white lab coats with “Gynecologist” or “Breast Inspector” embroidered on the pockets.

Outside of college, who gets away with wearing this stuff? Would anyone dare show up to the office Halloween party in these get-ups?

On the crimefighter front, there are at least a half-dozen variations of the sexy cop - handcuff earrings and doughnut purse optional. Female police officers have had a long lineage of role models dating back to Heather Locklear’s stellar performance on “T.J. Hooker.” But all that has just been neutralized by this:

“Book ’em gorgeous! The Busted costume includes: A stretch-knit dress with a two-way zipper front and a ‘Busted’ knit bra top. A police hat, a removable ‘Officer Ivana B. Bad’ name badge, a belt, a toy gun, an officer’s badge, a pair of handy handcuffs, fingerless gloves and a baton are also included in this sexy style. Who knows how many laws are broken when you patrol in this arresting ensemble!”

There’s also a “Border Babe” who cracks down on illegal immigration, a “Corrupt Cop” with a proclivity for vinyl-boned waist corsets and bribes, and Detective “Terri Gation,” in charge of making stubborn suspects talk.

Feminists should take note that the cheesy male version of the sexy cop, “Oliver Clothesoff,” does not appear to take bribes. And he at least starts out with long sleeves and long pants. 

Halloween is a chance to bring out "your inner stripper" or at least celebrate the peeler culture. Look out for me, in my naughty prison matron garb...